Here is a youtube video that I saw on Facebook. And there was a time not that far in the past that I would have agreed with these men, though in the back of mind I would have had an inkling that something about it wasn’t exactly right.
I’ve learned that the best way to discern what exactly it is that our inklings are speaking to us about is to put what is causing the inklings under the light of scripture. At the 41 second mark, the fellow with the guitar begins to speak, and what he says is not only wrong, it is contrary to scripture. A man is not to “give deference” to his wife, and he most certainly is not to give deference to a female stranger. He is not to “bow his head” to her, and she does not “have more jurisdiction” than him.
The Bible commands husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. There are simply no scriptures to support what this man says. He appeals to the traditions of men (my father did it and my grandfather did it) which are the very traditions that have brought us the toxic feminism that we currently find ourselves immersed in.
The picture of a man and wife is a type and shadow of the picture of Jesus and His bride. Can we imagine Jesus telling his Bride, the Church “whatever you want, you got it, without question?” Does Jesus bow his head to His Church, and does he show deference to her? Of course not.
These men seem to think that this behavior is the reason that masculinity has gotten a bad name. I disagree with this point as well. Masculinity has gotten a bad name because feminism is the new cook in the kitchen. No man can ever become subservient enough to appease feminism. Subservience to women only disgusts feminists more with masculinity. And for the young man looking for a bride, although deference and submission will get him a pat on the head, it will also ensure him that the girl he has his eye on will be more attracted to his masculine friends.
I don’t, as a rule, treat women any different than I treat men. I don’t open the door for them in any ways that would be different than how I might open the door for a man. I don’t protect them as a rule in any way different than how I would protect any other human being. That is my change of heart. But it’s not because I’m buying into feminism that I have changed my views, or because I’ve become less masculine. On the contrary, it is because I have rejected feminism lock, stock, and barrel that I have changed them.